Oh, Love

Oh, love,

to keep and to hold

or myself to let go

and love Thee yet more

For in treacherous heights I found you

and in the depths I heard you speak

all the more should I then deserve

what my heart thinks it longest for

And a voice is still greater

so pure and so true

Who knows love’s desire

“For it is I,” says He, “who made you.”

True Leadership

“Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, for you know that we who teach shall be judged with greater strictness.  For we all make mistakes, and if any one makes no mistakes in what he says he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body also.  If we put bits into he mouths of horses that they may obey us, we guide their whole bodies.” – James 3:1-3

The call to Christian leadership is not a call to fame.  I’ve done it before; gazing dreamily into the sunset, thinking of all the grandeur with which God will do big things in my life, with me and through me.  Dreaming is good.  A sense of wonder and anticipation of the power of God is essential to effective leadership.  But the real question is exactly who we place at the center of these dreams: is it us or Him?  Because to lust after a place in formal Christian leadership, or really our thoughts of “Christifame,” is to misunderstand the nature of leadership; to ultimately burden ourselves with unreality that will burn us out.

As I was waking up this morning, it’s like the realities facing Christian leaders and teachers were burning in my brain.  I’ll list them:

1. We won’t teach the full Gospel because we would then be convicting ourselves.  In order to teach the truths that are counter-cultural and unpopular, we might ourselves have to be counter-cultural and unpopular. This is a hard lesson for us.  But we have to accept the reality of what Jesus Christ calls us to; living above reproach and seeking first the kingdom of God.  We must be careful to never qualify the Gospel with our own lives, but to be transformed to it.
2. We focus solely on social justice, or charitable activity, rather than worship and prayer.  We see both ends of the pendulum.  We can paint the Gospel of Christ in the light of a social revolution.  We can become shortsighted in our teaching to replace worship and prayer in the Christian life with works of charity, focusing solely on the horizontal nature of the Christian life.  Truly, these were an essential part of Jesus’ ministry.  Some of the most beautiful lives in the last 2,000 years were intimately connected to the poor.  Jesus came to save the lost, to heal the blind, the make the cripples walk; yet to focus on these elements as His mission would be to greatly reduce the mystery of Salvation.  It becomes easy for us to reject “institutionalized Christianity” in exchange for a gospel of social justice and works, where these parts of our lives come out of and presuppose intimate union with God and discovering His heart for His people, especially the poor.
3. Instead of allowing the Gospel to project Truth on us, we criticize or legitimize the parts of Jesus’ message we feel most helpless to follow. This leads to a lack of substance in our leadership.  It becomes easy to talk about nothing at all.  What we often give is not words that lead people close to Jesus, but words that distort the gospel to follow our own ends.  How do we view the words of Jesus when they challenge even ourselves?  Do we conform ourselves or tell ourselves, “Surely, He couldn’t have meant this.”  No, He meant that and we need to ask for grace to be “perfect as the Father is perfect.”  We often malign teachings that challenge us beyond our comfort levels.  May we have more humility and accept God’s words for what they are, while admitting we need His grace to follow them!
4. We won’t raise the bar because we don’t want to meet it.  Since we fear the Cross of Christ, we won’t travel in His footsteps, nor take anyone else with us. Sometimes we don’t lead effectively out of pure fear.  If I teach that Jesus really didn’t want us to sin, to lust, to be angry, then I MYSELF better be willing to lead that way first.  A man I respect used to always say, “If you want the world to bleed, you have to hemorrhage,” i.e. if we want to lead the people on the way of Jesus’ cross, we must bear it most valiantly ourselves.  The way of the Christian life is truly to the cross.  But there lies the beauty of salvation!  In the death of ourselves we are born to life of Christ.  This is the joy of sharing in the intimate embrace of Jesus’ mission.  To shirk this in our leadership is to lead people into unreality and away from the purifying way of Jesus, to His joy, and to the ultimate banquet of Heaven.
5. We project ourselves as THE essential ingredient to God’s mission and, in turn, place ourselves not as a bridge to Jesus but an obstacle.  The Gospel becomes a means to our end. May we not think of ourselves so highly that we consider ourselves the essential ingredient to God’s plan.  But to understand our gifts rightly, God has chosen each of us for a particular mission to advance His kingdom.  In our leadership, this requires that we die to self in a radical way.  I once heard a friend tell a story I’ll never forget.  She described an experience with the Lord:  ”I saw Jesus holding a globe, almost like a snow globe.  It was radiating with light.  Then I asked, ‘what happens when we do things for our own glory?’ The globe went dark and dead, empty of any light or life.”  This imagery will forever paint a picture of this reality for me.  The Gospel is not a means for our success or advancement, but the advancement of the holiness of the world.
6. We forget that the Christian life is made of the daily discipline of love, which grows into eternal union with God. This basic truth is often overlooked.  God delights in our small decisions to serve Him.  We should take His words seriously when He talks about the real treasure being the treasure of Heaven.  The treasure of human praise lasts for a little time, but praise from God lasts forever.  When we do things in the sight of others, we are emptied quickly and must be again filled quickly.  When we do things in the secret, honoring God with our daily lives, we require very little because God’s pleasant treasures overflow our cup.  When the little things grow into bigger ministry, then praise God all the more, yet remain most consistent in the small, loving practices of daily life: prayer and acts of charity toward others.

I consider myself extremely humbled on this topic, because I know that I am subject to God’s correction and direction all the time.  I hope to always be quickly obedient and attentive to His voice.  We are all called to Christian leadership and teaching in some way, but may we live in our calling by grace and humility, not shying away from the Gospel.  Jesus came to proclaim the Good News of Salvation.  This is what we lead others to!  We must first listen.  We must keep this in our vision.

Be Holy, dear brothers and sisters!  Run to Him!

The Power of Heaven

God has been revealing things to me lately…powerfully.  And I don’t believe that they are at all for me to keep to myself.  In fact, I feel like the primary reason He is speaking so strongly is because He wants me to write about the things that are being spoken deep in my heart.

Prayer…such great power in prayer.  But it seems like that phrase doesn’t even suffice.  I was talking to someone today who I said I would keep in prayer over thanksgiving.  As I got back to my room, I reflected on that for a minute.  The things I’m praying for this person are pretty big.  This is not a formality.  I’m asking God and all of Heaven to move for this person and his family.  I’m asking that real grace and real power come crashing into this world like a meteor from the sky.  That it would be that powerful and substantial.  Truly magnificent.  And this almost took my breath away.  Because when I agreed to pray for him, I realized that I was, in a way, counting it as just one of those things we do as Christians.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  Wake up, Nathan!  You’re asking for the almighty King of the universe to pour His grace upon someone.  Beg for it with all your heart!  Be a sacrifice of love for this person, as Jesus was on behalf of us.  We see in John 17 the fervor with which Jesus interceded for the world.

From a Scriptural standpoint, let’s look at some of the ways God has spoken to us the importance of prayer and what it means to call upon the Name of the Almighty.

First, the book of Esther…the fair and lovely Hadassa from Susa.  In this book we see several important “types” (representatives that have a meaning beyond themselves).  To put the story in context, Haman the Agagite, who has a great disdain for the Jews due to the fact that they do not bow in his presence (particularly Esther’s uncle Mordecai) requests that the king send out a decree that all jews be killed in the region.  When the king agrees, the story says, “When Mordecai learned all that had been done, Mordecai rent his clothes and put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the midst of the city, wailing with a loud and bitter cry; he went up to the entrance of the king’s gate, for no one might enter the king’s gate clothed with sackcloth.  And in every province, wherever the king’s command and his decree came, there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting and weeping and lamenting, and most of them lay in sackcloth and ashes” (Esther 4:1-3).    And then, “On the third day Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the king’s palace, opposite the king’s hall.  The king was sitting on his royal throne inside the palace opposite the entrance to the palace; and when the king saw Queen Esther standing in the court, she found favor in his sight and he held out to Esther the golden scepter that was in his hand” (Esther 5:1-2).

We see that the king’s palace was a place of real power.  Those who entered were privileged and only those whom the king allowed to speak could enter.  Esther was clearly breaking code in entering without being called.  This was punishable with death in those times.  However, the king extends his scepter to her, a sign that she has permission to speak and grants her the request of her people.  In exegetical parallel, God’s courts are a place of pure holiness and power.  Yet, God has “lowered His scepter” to His Church in Christ and called us into His courts.  So let us “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).  But let us remember that we are in the courts of the King.  The King whose dominion is all that was ever created, to which all is subject.  This is He from whom we make our request.  The very angels who stand in His presence are called the Seraphim, the “burning ones.”  This King has allowed us access into His courts through the blood of the Lamb, finding the temple of our hearts a pleasing place to dwell.

As the dwelling place of the Lord…if I could only grasp the significance of such a reality.  This past summer in Europe I was in some of the most beautiful churches in the world; some of the most majestic structures made by human hands.  As I was walking in the halls of Montmartre and Notre Dame in France, I heard God speak clearly to my heart, “It pleases me more to dwell within the hearts of my people.”  This prayer sprung from my heart:

O Lord, when You could dwell in the grandest of cathedrals or the most majestic of structures, You choose to well in the hearts of Your people and reside in the depths of their souls.  When You could ride the winds and arrive in mighty storms, You choose to rest in the peaceful breathing of a babe.  When such majesty resounds in my soul and knocks on the gate of my heart, how could I not let Him in?  How could I deny such a humble mender of souls, the Author of my salvation?  I will then ask Him to be mine now and forever, that I may dwell in the courts He has prepared with His own hands.

“Holy Father, keep them in thy name, which thou has given me, that they may be one, even as we are one” (John 17:11b).

May we dwell in the courts of the Lord and implore His help on behalf of our brothers and sisters.  He will surely respond with all of Heaven’s power!

 

Doctor, Doctor! The way God speaks…

In sitting in the silence of prayer and reflection, spiritual direction, and in experiencing God’s cleansing, I’m discovering that the voice of God is so much more broad than I had ever realized.  This morning it hit me…in our dialogue with God, we often come with a very limited understanding of the ways in which God is “speaking.”  It is easy for us to think of God as a “super human,” or in another sense, acting in human terms with some really ramped-up abilities (such as omnipotence and omnipresence).  But it is not really like this.  When I sit down for a conversation with a friend, there is an expectation of conversation.  In human-to-human terms, our mode of communication is conversation.  But with God, the breadth of communication is eternally greater.  In prayer we are opening ourselves up for so much more than a conversation, which is so often what we expect in our dialogue with God.

But let us think deeper.  You have a broken arm and your friend rushes you into the emergency room.  The pain is unbearable.  The doctor helps you onto the examination table and then sits next to you and says, “Hello, I’m doctor so-and-so and I’m here to give you a foot massage.”  You’re going to look at the doctor like he has 4 eyes.  ”I’ve got a broken arm, doc!  Please attend to that first!”  Now, examine the soul.  When we sit down with the Lord in the intimacy of prayer, it does us so much good to allow Him to speak on His terms.  Let us remember that we have a soul.  We can hear with more than our ears.  What about that pain of the past?  He is placing His finger on it, applying pressure so as to cleanse you.  What about that virtue for which you hunger and thirst?  He is breathing His breath on your humanity to bring you into His divinity.  Because honestly, God sees as the real Doctor the brokenness of our souls, but sees even deeper to the healing He will do.  So He will attend to those things in His timing.  He may very well speak, and Jesus Himself became flesh to share in our humanity so that we may share this intimacy with God.  But let us be open to the entire breadth of God’s voice, knowing that even the seemingly “distant times” are His voice beckoning us closer.

Don’t Conform, Be Transformed

Let’s be honest with ourselves, the truth hurts.

Today is a “Day of Recollection” at Saint Paul Seminary.  It is a time for us to slow down the busy pace of life and reflect deeply on the stirrings of our soul.  It is a time to return to internal stillness where the noise of the outside world had crept in and to open up to greater transformation in Christ.  We listened to a few talks today about transformation in Christ.  In the silence of humble adoration, we re-encounter ourselves as God encounters us.

A great temptation in the Christian life is a lack of reflection.  How many of us tend to keep our very inner self at an arm’s length?  We do this for several reasons:

Expectations

“If I encountered myself at the deepest levels, if I stared my disfigurement straight in the face, I would be most afraid to know what I find there.  For if I do, I will be as the naked beggar found unworthy to be at the wedding feast.”  What we do not see is that God does not hold expectations as humans do.  His expectations are born out of truth alone, so we need not be afraid to encounter the truth.  It will only set us free to love God and love others more.

Fear of Rejection

“If my neighbor knew how deeply wounded I am, they would surely cast me out on the streets.  If not this, then I would at least lose their love.”  To this, Christ says, “I will never leave you.”  We are called not only to be long-suffering with ourselves but with our neighbor as well.  See into your neighbor’s heart.  Account for all with an even greater abundance of love and tenderness, for we know how a neighbor’s trust is like a fragile eggshell.  Most of all, let us love deeply; our eyes may shine the only love they know.

Shame

“I surely do not belong to this community.  I am not upright of heart.”  We have all felt unworthy – unworthy of our positions, unworthy of certain gifts, unworthy to be standing in the presence of God.  But the very fact that God placed you where you are is a testament to His trust in you, that He created you and fashioned you to radiate His glory in this place at this time.  He will never throw you out as a dirty rag.  He is a lover not a user.  It is so easy for us to look at the expectations of a community around us and then try to meet those expectations.  To this I say don’t conform, but be transformed.  We conform because we fear the loss of love, but in being transformed we are fashioned to the source of Love Himself.

When we reflect, God is the primary illuminator.  We do not simply gaze inward, but we allow Him to draw things outward.  Otherwise, we are again tempted to run from letting go of that which we cling to so very tightly – that which keeps us from complete surrender.  Christ, however, illuminates us and inspires us to conversion.  Simply sitting in His presence with open arms and surrendered will gives us the grace we need to hear His voice.  What He delights to show us is that at our very core we are created good, because we mirror the image of God Himself.  As Pope John Paul II said, “The heritage of our hearts goes deeper than sin.”

So, friends, the truth hurts but it hurts much more to keep ourselves away from the Healer.  Even more, what joy we will find when He gives us glimpses of our beauty in light of Him.  Let us not conform, but be transformed.

From the Depths We Cry Out…

We need…truth that iS aLIVE.  Words that become flesh.  Hearts soft to be transformed; love real enough to split open our heart; to fill the room; to send light into the darkest cave of despair; we need strength humble enough to endure the lashings of a culture filled with pain; we need eyes acute enough to see into the depths of the soul; and most of all…fixed on the train of God’s splendorous robe.  May He provide us with all that is necessary to serve Him with all that we are

Active Inspiration

Being a musician has taught me a lot about a life in Christ.  As I was running along the Mississippi yesterday, gazing over the valley at the greens, yellows, and reds of the fall leaves, I was thinking about a new song that I’m working on.  The funny thing is that this whole song started with a simple line that began to shift into something much more complex.  As I kept going along, I needed to search deeper and dig more and more for more creative parts, new lines, and more interactive harmonies.  And as I was running along, thinking, the reality of my situation hit me:  If I treated my music writing as a passive process of inspiration, I could just keep writing the same song over and over, disguising it all in a simple different exterior.  We all know that this happens in the music industry.  But aside from the music, it happens even more grievously in our own lives, to the Gospel of Christ, which awakens not only our ears to listen, but our whole soul to engage the reality around us.  I am realizing how my thoughts about inspiration have everything to do with this life which we live.

I think that we may all agree that the deepest level of transformation comes not from without, but from within the heart.  This is how God delights to move:  in our desires, our passions, what we yearn to have and that of which we long to let go.  It is not an easy process because our person is a web of complexity; making an adjustment in one part often means another round of adjustments somewhere else.  Fortunately, we aren’t robots.  God does work at a deeper level than cause-and-effect.  He works on us in our entirety.  Ever tried to do it on your own?  Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.  It’s horrible trying to be your own mechanic.  But this is where the rubber hits the road with the Christian life and inspiration:  God wants to inspire you every single day, drawing you deeper into this inner transformation to be more like Christ.  But this isn’t a passive process.  Get out.  Breathe the air.  Admire the stars.  Have coffee with a friend.  Admit your sadness.  Weep for the lonely.  Grieve with the sorrowful and make sure to fall in love with God’s handiwork.  And let me say:  It won’t just fall on our doorstep.  If we believe that inspiration is exclusively passive, we will miss out on a great deal of the journey of Faith.

I’ll finish my song…eventually.  But it won’t finish itself.  Fortunately I have an endless world of inspiration to draw from.  Be actively inspired today.

Trial and Temptation

In living in vice and virtue…in hope and despair…through internal peace and internal war…in the death of sin and in the life of Christ…in desperation and in calm…in love and in hate…in needing nothing and in wanting everything…in moments and in years…in discipline and in laziness…in loneliness and in the company of angels…in tranquility and in anger…in fortitude and in fear…in trials and in temptations…

I have learned something that has revolutionized my life and will forever change the way I approach my walk with God.  It wasn’t until I could slow myself down, hear my breathing, measure the heartbeat of my soul, take my pulse, see my fallen desires, climb to the tops of mountains and descend into deep valleys, and listen to the wind of the Holy Spirit that I could discern and hear this paradox of life:  It is in the times of much, of plenty, and forgetting our dependence that our soul is in the most danger.  It is precisely when we have nothing, we are destitute, feeling desolate, and dependent on God’s grace for this very day that we reside at the foot of the cross.  But then something happens…we begin to see things differently.  We find the value in discipline, lest we forget in times of much where He brought us in times of little.  We stop relying on our feelings, lest we think that He was not truly there when we needed Him most.  Our joys become real joys and our sorrow becomes the Divine Sculptor, shaping us into holy vessels.  Both joy and sorrow have their place.  If we continually work to repel the work of sorrow – of difficulty and groaning – in our lives, we will soon find ourselves on an island, not only unable to identify with others but with Christ Himself.  ”He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” -Isaiah 53:3.  It is eternally consoling to know that Jesus Himself identifies with us in our suffering, not only in empathy, but in having lived a life where it was so familiar to Him.  ”Remember the time of hunger in the time of plenty, poverty and want in the day of wealth.” -Sirach 18:25  These truths run deep.  They are not to be read lightly, lest we think that God would have us sorrowful all the days of our life.  They teach us that in the seasons of our life, God is ever present.  He understands.  He moves with us.  They also teach us the inherent dangers of being lazy and forgetting our daily need for Him.  Even our very biology, our hunger and thirst, reveal to us the spiritual realities of our hunger and thirst for God.  Let each season have it’s perfect work, for “Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.” -Psalm 30:11-12

The One we serve…

He treads on the path of the sun.  He carves the valleys of the earth and lifts the mountains to their peaks.  He wrought the depths of the oceans and blinked the moon into existence.  The stars adorn his face and his hands are decorated with the jewels of the galaxy.  Nothing can measure his knowledge.  There is no system to surmount His wisdom.  There is no heart greater than His; no love can surpass His love; the oceans could not hold His mercy; even by the stars we couldn’t count His good deeds; nothing outshines Him; no one exceeds Him; death cannot overshadow Him; Satan will never eclipse Him; time will never trump Him……even the train of His robe would be enough.

And this is the King we serve.  Not simply the King of this world, but of all ages, all time, all existence.  Do you know?  He would move all Heaven and earth for your good.  Do not be afraid.

This King offers us an audience with Him in His courts every time we breathe.  How difficult is it to receive an audience with an earthly king?  We have the Alpha and Omega extending His hand as an invitation to His great love daily.  Do respond.  Meet with the greatest figure in history.  Meet with the author of your life.  Meet with the holder of your future.  Meet with the One who understands your entire being.  And remember, this King has adopted you into His family.  You are now an heir and a child of His.  Remember that it pleases Him to invite you here.

So have an audience with your King and Father today.  Remember who you serve and remember who gave His life to serve you.  He washed your feet.  He cleansed your soul.  Once you were dead but now you are……

Alive

Take My Hand

Keep Your Friends Close…Keep Death Even Closer

There is something about our limited time here on earth that we should never forget.  I remember walking through a cemetery near the Stone Circle in Winona wondering if each of those gravestones marked the life of someone who, if asked how they used their time, would respond “For the glory of the Lord.”  How many would wish they had more?  Either way, they would all say that their time is limited.  None of them had one extra second past their death to tie loose ends, ask for forgiveness, or to be reconciled to someone they care about.  The great thing about free will is that it allows us the ultimate capacity to love.  We were not coerced or forced, we were not pushed or shoved.  But the other thing about free will is that it’s incredibly terrifying…because we, somewhere deep down, have the fear that we could abuse it.  Or maybe we question how close God really is.  How secure are we?  Until we realize this one thing:  God made us a promise that He would always be with us.  He proved to Israel in the Old Testament time and time again that even though she was an adulterous nation, He would remain faithful to her (this is the greatest testament for the indissolubility of marriage, as a little side note).  And in that is our security.

In the midst of all of our living and goings-on, then, we cannot forget that our lives are just a breath.  We realize this most clearly when we are broken and in need.  Don’t spend your life evading death.  Visit the dying so that you never forget who you really are.  ”For he says, “In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.” -2 Corinthians 6:2

I once heard a great speech to a huge crowd by a retired football coach:

“I remember one day, I came back from working out – mind you, I worked out 5 times a week – and this pain in my chest wouldn’t go away.  I felt cold and I kept sweating as well.  When I got home, my wife took one look at me and said, ‘Get in the car!  We’re taking you to the hospital.’  I got in the car and she rushed me on in and the doc looked at me on the table and said, ‘You’re having a heart attack, do you have any questions?’  I thought, ‘HAV”ing,” did you catch that?  Not ‘HAD’ or ‘MAY HAVE’ but you’re ‘HAVING’ a heart attack.  I thought to myself, ‘Shoot, doc, this isn’t the time for questions!’  I remember laying down on that table in the ER and thinking about Jesus.  I remember thinking, ‘Lord, if you want to take me now, I’m alright with that.’  And this incredible peace and calm flowed over me.”  He lifted his hand up right in front of his face and shouted, “Death was RIGHT THERE!  Right there staring me in the face!  I was this close!  Now I’d like to ask you one question…”

And he ended his message, his being the last talk of the entire conference, with this question:

“What would you do if it was you laying on the table?”

Remember, most importantly, that you don’t have your whole life in front of you….you have today.

“Where, O death, is your victory?  Where, O death, is your sting?” – 1 Corinthians 15:55